Spider-Man vs Superman

 

In these 5 articles, we’re going to put some of the most famous superheroes in both DC and Marvel comics against one another, attempting to answer the age-old questions of who would beat who in a duel.

Meet The Fighters:

Like any good prizefight, we need to introduce who exactly is facing off against who, so without further ado…

 

Spiderman

Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!

After being bitten by a radioactive spider, nerdy Peter Parker took to the streets of New York to defend the innocent with his new powers as the Amazing Spider-Man.

 

Powers

• SuperSpeed – Able to lift around 10 tonnes, Spider-Man is more than strong enough to stop a speeding train from going over the edge.
• SuperSpeed/Agility/Reflexes – Spider-Man can move and react to things much faster than even the top Olympic athletes.
• Healing Factor – While not invulnerable, Spider-Man is much more durable than the normal human, and he has a low-level healing factor, allowing him to recover at incredible speeds.
• Spidey-Sense – One of his more unique powers, Spider-Man’s spidey sense allows him to sense when danger is near and react accordingly.
• Web-Swinging – While it changes whether this is natural or an invention of Peter Parker’s, Spider-Man can swing from buildings to get around New York at top speed.
• Adhesion – Spidey, like his namesake, can cling to walls and basically any other surfaces you can think of.

 

Superman

The Man of Steel and one of the most well-adapted superheroes on the big screen, Superman is easily one of the most beloved and powerful superheroes of all time.

Hailing from the distant planet of Krypton, everyone on Earth is lucky that he uses his powers for good.

 

Powers

• Super Strength – At his weakest in the Comics, Superman can easily lift over 100 tonnes. On his best days, he can shove entire planets across the galaxy.
• SuperSpeed – Both on land and in the sky, Superman can cover endless amounts of distance in the time it took you to read this sentence. He can move near light speed.
• Flight – Superman can fly as fast as he can run, being able to circle the planet in milliseconds.
• Invulnerability – Superman has Hulk-level invulnerability on a bad day, capable of shrugging off even Omega Beams from Darkseid himself.
• Heat Vision – The ability to fire beams of energy out of his eyes
• Freezing Breath – due to his enhanced lungs, Supes can blow so hard that he causes a miniature snap freeze in his breath, freezing anything and anyone unlucky enough to be caught in it.

Superman has one real weakness, and while it is well-known, it doesn’t exactly grow on trees.

Kryptonite is a glowing green rock that also happens to be a piece of Krypton, the home planet of Superman and his people. It also happens to take away Superman’s powers when he is around it, eventually even killing him if he stays near it for too long.

Luckily for our Man of Steel, Kryptonite is incredibly rare.

 

The Fight

While it may seem a bit shocking, Superman and Spider-Man have actually fought before, canonically.

In a 1976 DC and Marvel crossover called, uninspiringly, Superman vs. The Amazing Spider-Man, the two heroes dropped their gloves and went at one another after their worlds collided (literally… something multiverse), and Spider-Man was tricked into thinking that Superman was a villain who threatened Mary Jane.

With Lex Luthor hiding nearby and blasting the pair with a red sun radiation ray, Spider-Man quickly got the upper hand, beating the crap out of the Man of Steel, whose powers were sapped by the powers of the red sun.

Like anyone who has ever got in a fight, played a sport, or especially caught their sibling cheating during an intense match of Monopoly, losing pissed Superman right off.

Even with his powers sapped, he threw a full-force punch at Spidey. Realizing that the blow would probably eviscerate Spider-Man, Superman pulled it at the last second.

The red sunray wore off, Superman regained his powers, and you can probably guess the rest. Spider-Man broke his own hands while feeding haymaker after haymaker into Ol’ Supes breadbasket, while the Man of Steel calmly lived up to his name and waited for Spidey to wear himself out.

Could a fight between these two superheroes end any differently than Spider-Man uselessly punching himself to death while Superman checked his nail beds and thought about what was for dinner?

Yes, Superman could fight back and quickly turn Spider-Man into a pile of subatomic particles.

Spider-Man is strong, but Superman is known as one of the most overpowered superheroes of all time for a reason.

While Spider-Man is incredibly strong in his own right, compared to Superman he is basically an especially strong toddler trying to hold his own against Andre the Giant.

It isn’t going to end well, and the same goes for their speed and durability.

The only possible way that Spidey could win is through actively having kryptonite in his possession while they duel.

But while Superman’s weakness is an incredibly rare rock, Spider-Man’s weakness against Superman is, well, weakness.

 

Spider-Man vs Superman: The Conclusion

 

Realistically, Spider-Man vs Superman only has one conclusion, and it should have been foregone from the moment you saw those names matched up against one another.

Spider-Man is one of the most beloved superheroes of all time, known across the world for the life and positivity he brings to the job.

But Superman is Superman, and it’s hard to argue against him. He is one of the most powerful superheroes of all time, in his heyday capable of destroying entire galaxies with the blink of an eye and demolishing Darkseid with a flick of the wrist.

Sorry, Spidey, it’s nothing personal.

You’re just swinging a bit above your pay grade.